Beauty & The Briefcase

I should have known that this movie would be bad, but I totally have a crush on Michael McMillian (“The Hills Have Eyes 2,” “What I Like About You”). While I love him, the movie also stars Hillary Duff who I secretly can't stand.

So the Duffster plays Lane, a completely shallow and obsessed writer who only thinks about looking good and finding the perfect boyfriend. When she goes to see Kate (Jamie Pressly, “My Name is Earl”), the editor of Cosmopolitan, she learns that her newest article is a dud. They don't need any more of her crap, so she's out of a job. Suddenly, she comes up with the idea to get a job in the financial/business world and write an article about all the men she dates.

After creating a fake resume, they give her a shot on the computer software. Since she has no idea what she's doing, she spills coffee on the power supply and knocks power out on the whole floor. The hiring manager somehow decides to give her job anyway, even though she didn't prove that she can do the work!

On her first day of work, she meets her boss Tom (McMillian). He's a total by the board kind of guy, the type of guy who talks, walks, eats, and sleeps business. He teaches her hand motions that he can do from his office to tell her what she needs to do without wasting time with a phone call. Naturally she forgets it all, standing up and twirling when he does one motion because she thinks that he wants to check out her outfit.

None of that matters though because she gets to meet a bunch of guys. Since this movie is apparently set in the 1940s, the only women in the world are secretaries and wives. There are literally no other women in her department, so all the guys fall all over themselves to ask her out. Duffster also has a long list of traits that she wants in her perfect man. She meets one guy who seems great on paper, but he's a total dud in person.

One night, she meets Liam (Chris Carmack, “The O.C.,” “Shark Night”) and he seems perfect. He looks great, makes her laugh, and even has a cute Australian accent. She decides to use the dud in her article but actually write about all her nights when Liam. Unfortunately, she then discovers that Liam is an actor who works at a restaurant as a waiter. He and his buddy take turns covering for each other, making girls think that they are who they say they are.

Let me point out here that he lied about a few things, but he hits everything else on her list. She really likes him, they have great chemistry, and everyone she knows likes him. Despite all that, she breaks up with him and decides that she absolutely cannot ever see him again.

Tom accidentally comes across a copy of her article and flips out. He cannot believe that (a) she would lie to him the entire time she worked there and (b) that she would write about her sex life with a co-worker. He calls her and the dud into his office, and the dud is naturally confused because they only had two dates.

Lane gets fired, but she gets her article back. Kate thinks the article is so great that she shows her a mock up of the next issue, which has her article as one of its cover stories. When Kate casually asks about Tom, Lane has no clue what she's talking about. Kate wants a follow up story about their relationship, which confuses the Duffster because she never thought of him in that way. Following Kate's advice, she rushes back to the office, finds Tom, and plants one on him. And I guess they live happily every after.

WTF? When the movie first started, I figured that they would end up together because of the cover for Beauty & the Briefcase. After like an hour of them barely spending any time together, I figured I was wrong. They literally have zero chemistry together and rarely spend time in the same room. I guess she traded the hot guy she shared amazing chemistry with for her former boss.